And I Will Walk On
by Jenova
Summary: Momiji and Hatori have a talk.


Hatori was tidying up his office area as the sun began to drop in the late afternoon sky. He'd had 3 patients and Akito to care for today, and there seemed to be no end in paperwork to keep up with. Strangely, Akito did not show up for her appointment. He'd intended to go by and see her but lunch ran unexpectedly long and as he'd heard no complaints he did not make the effort to go by. Kana had come by early in the morning seeking a referral to an obstetrician and it had thrown his entire day out of sorts. Recently married with a glow and joy about her that was unmistakable, there was little doubt as to why she was there. It seemed every time he began to move on, something or someone would pull him back immediately. He tried to push the painful memory away, but it kept intruding throughout the day. He called Mayuko and chatted for a little while during his spare time to try and relax a bit. It was so refreshing to talk with someone away from everything, and he longed to be in her company again. It happened before he even realized it was happening. He felt uncontrollably drawn to her energy and before he knew it, just the thought of her made his heart warm and stomach flutter uneasily.

With his hand over his eyes, he had to admit it to himself. He had it bad.

"Shigure will be insufferable", he thought.

Shaking his head, he picked up the last 2 folders from his desk and moved over the the wall to file them away. In the kitchen, tea sat waiting for him. The maid had already excused herself for the day and gone home. He stood beside the small island in the center of his kitchen and picked up the drink. He made towards his bookcase, but a knock came at his front door and stopped him. Not waiting for an answer, Momiji walked in and greeted him. Momiji had grown so fast in such a short time that, despite seeing him nearly every day, Hatori still noted how much taller he'd gotten. When he spoke, it was no longer the voice of a young child but that of a young man. He briefly wondered if maybe he should sit down and have a heart to heart with the boy. Possibly fill him in on all the things his father might not have. Maybe it was too late for most of that anyways. Maybe it couldn't hurt. Hatori noticed that Momiji seemed to be struggling with something, but he'd thought it better not to pry. He suspected it had something to do with Momiji being a teenager and being cursed, but he wasn't entirely certain. It is a frustrating thing, that much he understood at least. This evening though, there was something different.

Something was... off, though Hatori couldn't place it. Momiji invited himself into the kitchen and Hatori poured him a cup of tea. Momiji stood and sipped in silence. When he looked up, Hatori was watching him intently. Momiji held his gaze for a moment, then looked away. He wanted to tell Hatori, but he was almost afraid of what the older man would say. Hatori kindly spared him the moment.

"Momiji, is... everything alright?" he asked, looking concerned.

"Why do you ask?" Momiji tried to sound as lighthearted as he could, but he was failing miserably. Hatori immediately noted that he'd failed to answer the question.

"You're being unusually quiet this evening."

"I just have some things on my mind." He wasn't ready to tell Hatori about his feelings for Tohru, although he suspected maybe Hatori already knew. It was becoming common knowledge throughout the household that Tohru and Kyo had feelings for eachother. Momiji's feeling for Tohru, however, had gone largely overlooked simply due to his immature appearance. If he'd been taller, more masculine from the beginning, it would have been immediately apparent how much he truly cared for her, but that's not anybody's fault really. He couldn't speed that up or change it, so he cherished every moment he could.

"Would you like to talk about it?"

"Hatori, when you look at me what do you see?" Momiji asked.

"I see a-", Hatori stopped midsentence. It finally dawned on him. What the feeling was. It's the same feeling he gets around Kureno. The exact same. What did it mean? He knew what Shigure suspected but...

Momiji smiled sadly.

"Momiji, is there... something different about you?" Hatori boldly asked.

Without making eye contact, the young man took a sip of his tea. He looked up to face Hatori and took a deep breath.

"Last night, for no reason whatsoever, my curse dissolved. I am no longer one of the Juunishi." Momiji looked away from Hatori mid sentence.

Hatori stared straight at Momiji, unable to fully comprehend what he was hearing.

"You... you're?" Hatori managed to say quietly.

"Yeah." Momiji managed to look at him again. Hatori's expression was unreadable.

A sudden flash of anger pierced Hatori and was gone again before he processed it. Then it burned. His stomach and heart and every part inside of him seethed with a jealousy he had never known, and then the anger was back. Deep inside himself, the spirit of the Dragon raged at the Rabbit's betrayal.

Hatori stifled it, hoping to maintain composure. It was not Momiji's fault this happened. He should be happy for him, yet he could not bring himself to smile for the boy. Hatori's heart, soul, and mind seemed to be in a fierce battle over this information. He wanted so much to give the ex-rabbit words of encouragement and acceptance, but they would not form.

"Ha'ri?" Momiji observed cautiously. "I'm... I don't know how it happened. And last night, within moments - Akito came to me. He knew. I told him I'd see him today to talk about it. I was on my way over there, but I wanted to stop by here and talk to you too. I promised Akito I wouldn't tell anyone, but I had to avoid Haru, Yuki, and Kyo at school all day. It was clear they knew something was up too. I just... I'm free, but I also feel... I don't know. I just thought maybe you would- could... be there for me. When I go to see Akito, I mean..." Momiji trailed off.

Hatori had finally regained his sense of self. From a young age, he was determined to do anything for the young blonde haired boy. It was the least he could do after taking away his mother's memories. He knew the pain of loss all too well, and together they supported eachother through it all. In this moment, however, Hatori could not bring himself to be supportive. Jealousy or Dragon Spirit, he would never know.

"Momiji, I... I cannot go with you. Akito told you not to tell anyone-"

"I know! But he doesn't have to know that I told you. Just that I asked you to go with me." Momiji argued.

"I- I'm sorry. I can't do this, Momiji."

"Because of Akito? Or because... you don't want to?" Momiji finished, in a small voice. Suddenly, he felt like a small child again.

Hatori sat in silence. His eyes remained fixated on the cold cup of tea in his hands. "I'm sorry. Please go. I need to collect my thoughts. I will be by soon to check on you. I just... need some time."

Hatori stood up and turned his back to leave the room. Momiji could not control the tears that came to him. He wept silently for a few minutes before going to the restroom and cleaning his face. He steeled himself for the discussion to come, thinking that now he truly was alone. As alone as he could ever be. And yet, he couldn't blame Hatori for his reaction. He'd been through so much, and shouldered so much. Momiji could only hope that one day, Hatori and the others would also be free to live their lives as they wished.

Sighing as he exited Hatori's home, he looked up to the sky that had gone a deep red in preparation for sunset. He was terrified and excited at the same time. Lonely but free. He had to keep moving forward. He had to keep going. He would find his happiness.

"One step at a time."


End file.
